i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How does one acquire holy water?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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