my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
