peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
