you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The adults are the big ones right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize