do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
