there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
