well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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