i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
