new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need moral support for this bender
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
