Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
