If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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