to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
