Whatcha textin bout Willis?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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