It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize