Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
