He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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