Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
