You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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