Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
