I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My balls are so social today.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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