it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
