even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sober January is a disaster.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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