she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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