Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
