Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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