the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
