I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize