Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
