rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
