One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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