I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
