when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
