Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
