No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize