32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
