After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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