This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
