sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
