We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
3pm strippers are depressing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
