My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
one might say we're banned from that church
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
