You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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