She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
