her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
