I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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