Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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