Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
