Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
