Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
