We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
