Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
