I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
