yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
