i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
