I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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