Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
