I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
