just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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