i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
