That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
