i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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