Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
