oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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